Out Of Place

I grew up in a predominately Latin community. I went to a high school that was 98% Latino and the 2% left was a mixture of different races. Although my high school and neighborhood was predominately Latino, I did have a mixture of friends. I thought that I was diverse because I did not just hangout with people that shared my ethnicity, but when I came to Elmhurst College I thought otherwise. I was complete culture shock I did not know what to expect and since I am the first person in my family to go to college I had no one to warn me about it. The high school I attended was not the best when it came to academics, so when I came to this school which wasn't very Freshman friendly and went to classes that I knew nothing about it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I did not belong here and I desperately wanted to go back to the place I was most comfortable in. The situation got so bad that I even contemplated dropping out and attending my hometown community college. Not only did I feel like I could not compete academically with other students but I generally felt like an outcast. It also did not help that at the end of the semester some teachers would confuse me for another Latin girl in my class, one that I looked nothing like. I know its hard to remember names, I taught a literacy class to 200 kids, but it can't be impossible. There was one time when I was in a class that was not talkative. There was hardly any conversation and for the most part the teacher did not mind, but one day I guess he got tired of hearing his own voice and he wanted the students to talk. No one spoke up about his topic, and I think that he was a little upset. He began to tell a story of a friend that would go down to the boarder of Mexico and shoot at Mexicans that were trying to cross the boarder illegally. I was appalled by his comments considering I was the only person in the classroom that was of Mexican decent. At that moment I felt so small. I was pulled right into those feelings of not fitting in, and being out of place. It was the worst experience that I have had at this school, one that I never really told anyone until now.